


what the ... ?

by misosphere



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 9th wheel jeongin im sorry, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Romance, changlix, chat fic, i cant tag uhm, im such a shipper s;alskjfk, minsung - Freeform, rated for rude humor and language, seungjin - Freeform, woochan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2019-07-12 14:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15997019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misosphere/pseuds/misosphere
Summary: if you asked chan, even he doesn't know what he was thinking when he created the chat. all it is was... a chaotic mess and everyone spamming everyone else's phones... kinda wild for nine boys, if you ask him.or: felix and minho are shitheads, poor jeongin's purity has gone to waste, changbin is a grumpy grandpa who might be in love, chan and woojin are unwilling parents of the group chat, jisung and hyunjin are just lowkey flirting with their crushes, and for GODDAMN SAKE LET SEUNGMIN STUDY





	1. o n e

**—15:42**

**[** **_chRiSS_ ** **has created a chat ! ]**

 

 **chRiSS:** I CREATED THIS CHAT FOR BONDING TIME DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE

 

 **[** **_lee know not minhoe_ ** **has left ]**

 

 **chRiSS:** I'm--

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** SiKE

 

 **[** **_chRiSS_ ** **has added** **_lee know not minhoe_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **[** **_lee know not minhoe_ ** **has left ]**

 

 **chRiSS:** GOSHDARNIT MINHO WE LOVE YOU COME BACK

 

 **[** **_chRiSS_ ** **has added** **_lee know not minhoe_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **chRiSS:** MINHO I SAID I LOVE YOU PLEASE :(((

 

 **lee know not minhoe:** I don’t sry

 

 **squirrel:** LEE MINHO HYUNG ILY PLEASE STAY IN THE CHAT

 

 **lee know not minhoe:** aw luv u too :3

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** oooh the tea just GOT REAL

 

 **[** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **has changed** **_lee know not minhoe_ ** **'s username to** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **]**

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** r u SERIOUS

 

 **chRiSS:** guys…

 

 **[** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **has changed** **_chRiSS_ ** **'s username to** **_DAAAAD_ ** **]**

 

 **DAAAAD:** OK THAT’S ENOUGH I CREATED THIS CHAT TO

PROMOTE BONDING TIME AS FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND NOT BE LITTLE

ARADS;FLKJSDGHDPIFHWEQGOI

 

 **ur not chicken:** channie it's ok :( *hugs you*

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** THAZ SO CUTE MY DUDES

 

 **DAAAAD:** omgomgomg thank god woojin you always have perfect timing and a;sdlkjfdifwo :,,,)

 

 **ur not chicken** : mr lee felix im not ur dude im ur hyung

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** uHhH sorry not sorry but now youre my dude hyung in contacts

_[ attached image ]_

 

 **God:** LMAOOOOOOO FELIX I CAN'T IM WHEEZING DUDE HYUNG WITH THE CJHOCKEN EMOSNI

*CHICKEN EMOJIS

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** HYUNJINNIE MY NOT YET FAVORITE DUDE

 

 **God:** never mind now I'm crying skkkkk

 

 **ur not chicken:** aww don’t cry~ *hugs you and pats back*

 

 **DAAAAD:** sk is for stray kids!!!!

 

 **God:** -_______-

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** sk is for screw the kids!!!

 

 **God:** -______________-

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** oh

my

 

 **DAAAAD:** CLAPCLAPCLAPCALP NO CURSING JEOGNIN IS HEWR

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** fricking god :^)

 

 **uwu:** great censoring, hyung! :D

 

 **ur not chicken:** rest in peace, jeongin's innocence 2k18 … what did i tell u chan

 

 **DAAAAD:** my poor baby ;-;

Where's seungjibin anyways?

 

 **ur not chicken:** channie even I hv 2 say rlly u combined their names???

 

 **God:** seungmin will kill you for having his name combined with Changbin oooh can’t wait to see the morning headlines for once

 

 **uwu:** seungmin hyung is locked up in his room, studying for a physics test that's in three weeks :)

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** ANDCHANGBIN IS MINE

HES IN MY ARMS TAKING APNA

A NPA

NAP

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** so changbin locked you out of the dorm u guys share

 

 **changtrashbin:** one word: yes.

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** HEY THAT’S THREE WORDS

But its ok I forgive you changbinnie hyung (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

 

  **minHOEHOEHOE:** *gags*

 

 **ur not chicken:** everyone b nice

 

 **DAAAAD:** thank you woojin I was gonna say that

sucha life saver :,,,,) <3

 

 **God:** that’s a hole lotta messages for 2 minutes :0

*whole

 

 **uwu:** Hyung, you're using emoticons now???!!! Whoaaa, is Seungmin-hyung rubbing off of you?

 

 **God:** I mean we're best friends??? So uh???????

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** awWWWW TRUE LVEO AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

 

 **God:** speaking of seungmin he's gonna be pissed when he checks his messages

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** ew true love

Anything felix says is ew

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** EXCHSE ME

TRUE LOVE SÍ NTO SIEEW ITS AWWW

AND IF YOU SAY THAT…

you just insulted your so-called "platonic buddy" jisung how do you feel bout that hMMMM

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** I DID NOT WHY WOULD I HURT HIM HES TOO PRECIOU FOR THIS WORLD UUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWU

HOW DARE YOU SYABTHAT I WOULD HURT HIM HUH FITE ME

ME N JISUNG HAVE A GREAT BOND OK DON’T DOUBT THAT LET ME BEAT YOU UP

 

 **DAAAAD:** NO VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAT AND feLIX MAtE I KNOW WHAT YOURE GOINAN SAY DON’T sAY IT A;FKJSIWEOPDFFWOEIFHA

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : wHaTCha saYyYyY

 

 **DAAAAD** : ok you didn’t say it god bless

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** *dRAMATIC VOICE* AND IT IS HERE THAT MINHOEHOEHOE BECAME NO MORE AND TURNED INTO A VERY VERY

 

 **DAAAAD:** DON’T SAY IT

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** finE ┻━┻ ︵ ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

 

 **ur not chicken:** ok good he didn’t say that phew

 

 **changtrashbin:** what the hell is that emoticon

 

 **ur not chicken:** nvm ig it’s a different danger we forgot

 

 **uwu:**!!!!!

Changbin-hyung cursed!!!!!!

 

 **DAAAAD:** I THOUGHT I COLUD TRUST YOUASD CHANBGIN HOW CUOLD YOU THE POOR BAYB

 

 **[** **_DAAAAD_ ** **has kicked** **_changtrashbin_ ** **out from SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **DAAAAD:** taths for contaminating my poor child and being a bad influence sadfsd;fjweioapf im sorry jeonginnie :(((

 

 **uwu:** It's okay, hyung, don't worry!! I know Changbin-hyung didn't mean it either!

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** omgomgomg I'm not on the chat for 30 seconds and my bby's kicked out DON’T WORRY CHANGBIN SWEETIE IM HERE TO HELP

 

 **[** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **has added** **_changtrashbin_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **changtrashbin:** I wasfine not being in the chat

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** CHANGBINNIE-HYUNGGGG DO I GET ANOTHER KISS ON THE CHEEK FOR LETTING YOU BACK IN ≧◡≦

 

 **DAAAAD:** that's it i'm out i regret makign this chat im sorry taking care of you guys is too mich I’m stressed ;-;

 

 **ur not chicken:** chris want me 2 come over?

 

 **DAAAAD:** yes please :( i'm at the production room

 

 **ur not chicken:** okee on my way!

 

 **changtrashbin:** disgusting affection.

I thrive on woochan's disgusting affection.

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** wAIT WHAT ABOUT MINE?

 

 **changtrashbin:** no. Just no. You're still locked out of the dorm for a reason.

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** (╥_╥) I see how it is ill give you some time to reconsider bby (╥_╥)(╥_╥)

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** oh look felix isn't just twofaced but THREEfaced

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** im SORRY BUT USING THREE SAD EMOTICONS IS A T H I N G

O K A Y MISTER LEE IM DEPRESSED ABOUT NOT HAVING THE BALLS TO CONFESS TO JISUNG SO I TAKE OUT MY TEENAGE ANGSTINESS ON EVERYONE ELSE MINHO

 

 **[** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **has kicked** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **out from SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **changtrashbin:** aDD HIM BACK HES BANGING ON THE DOOR AN DI THINK HE MIGHT BREAK IT DOWN I DON’T WANT TO PAY FOR REPAIRS

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** too bad so sad

 

 **[** **_uwu_ ** **has added** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** dang it

 

 **changtrashbin:** thank you jeongin

 

 **uwu:** you’re welcome hyung! :)

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** that’s it I’m not talking to you guys even you Changbinnie hMPh

I have feelings tOOoOOoO

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** so he’s gone right?

 

 **changtrashbin:** for you yeah for me no

Sadly

It’s depressing when I think about it

Why me

Being his roommates bad enough

But a roommate crushing on you with a loud memey bright sunny happy fluffy Aussie accent??? I wanna *ms

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** have fun boi I look forward to your pain n possible d*ath

 

 **changtrashbin:** jeongin I want you to leave the chat we’re going to say some adult stuff I’ll add you back when it’s time

 

 **uwu:** ok hyung!

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** we already said adult stuff your dumbness is why you were punished with feLIX crushing on you

 

 **[** **_uwu_ ** **has left ]**

 

 **changtrashbin** : fuck you minhoE you’ll never get in a relationship with that attitude

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE** : see if i care

 

 **[** **_lee know no_ ** **to** **_dark child_ ** **]**

 

 **lee know:** you didn’t mean what you said right?????

 

 **dark child:** nope now stop worrying and acting like a girl on her period

 

 **lee know:** I aM NoT

 

 **dark child:** whatever helps you sleep hyung ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **lee know:** I realize why seungmin DOESNT like you

 

**[ SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **[** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **has added** **_uwu_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** welcome back cutie

 

 **uwu:** yayyyy!!!

 

**—20:05**

 

**[ SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **cutieeee:** WHY ARE THERE 130 NOTIFS ON MY PHONE FROM THIS CHAT ALONE, FORGET ABOUT MANNERS, I WILL KILL YOU ALL

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this started out as a way to keep my 4am insomniac thoughts busy lol i just exposed my inner crackhead oOPS 
> 
> anyways, this is a stress reliever fic so i'll update whenever despite the fact that this actually has a plot (-ish??? wow i'm such a great auTHOR) anyways, i hope you enjoyed so see you in the next chapter! more romance later wINK WONK


	2. t w o

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyper-at-3am conversations that involve changbin standing on a table  
> ( and a very late 9am conversation where minho kinda sorta maybe just blurts out his feelings out to jisung but the dumb potato butt is too stupid and lazy to try and understand what he said *facepalms* )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 pg bio research paper due on monday = stressed-out misosphere  
> stressed-out misosphere = update ! :DDDD  
> hope you guys like this lol idek what happened here

**—3:02**

**[ SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **squirrel** : goooood morning beautiful people!!

 

 **changtrashbin** : why are you awake

 

 **squirrel:** bc um I’m not sleeping???

 

 **changtrashbin:** and why are you assuming everyone is beautiful they’re not

Especially felix he’s ugly

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** AND WHO ARE YOU TO ASSUME IM UGLY (¬_¬)

 

 **changtrashbin:** seo changbin obviously

duh

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** OH NVM ITS YOU I LOVE YOU YOURE AN EXCEPTION ★~(◡ω◡✿)

 

 **changtrashbin:** gdi you’re still awake

 

 **squirrel:** hA jOkeS ON yOu CHANGBIN

ANYWAYS CAN SOMEONE CATCH ME UP ON WHAT HAPPENED AFTER I TOLD MINHO TO STAY IN THE CHAT

 

 **cutieeee:** I’m really sorry to say this but: *deep inhale*

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** *LOUD EXHALE BEFORE SNEEZES ON PURPOSE TO RUIN THE MOMENT*

 

 **cutieeee:** Really felix?

Anyways, as I was saying, I’m really sorry to say this but you all need to SHUT UP \\(-__-)/

 

 **squirrel:** whatcha even doing awake seungminnnnnnnnnn

 

 **cutieeee:** helping someone study last minute because they were a lazy noodle butt *sighs* :[

 

 **God:** that lazy noodle butt would be me .-.

 

 **cutieeee:** why are you on here, did you even complete the worksheet I sent you?

 

 **God:** hahAHA nOpe LOL

 

 **cutieeee:** do it or I’ll call your mom right now and tell her you didn’t study. /:

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** oOoOh SNAP hYUNJIN

[ _[ see attached image ]_ ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a5/ed/5e/a5ed5ecc71c69da03b5a1aa7679d3bd8.jpg)

 

 **squirrel:** omg I feel scaredddddd remind me to never get seungmin to tutor me ahhhhhhhhhh

THE MINHO MEME THOUGH SCREEEEEEEEEEE

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** are you enjoying the view jisung ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **squirrel:** no imbot I never suave anything about minho’s visuals hhhhhhhhh

*said

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** so you find him suave hMMMM ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **squirrel:** stahppp no I don’t he’s average I swearrrr

I mean hes not average I don’t wanna hurt anyone’s feelingssss

Like not average is a good thing

Uh

Like a really good thing

 

 **God** : smh jisung’s love life

[ _[ see attached image ]_ ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5d/45/3c/5d453ccd4e66eb48a0a5a09096e4ac20.jpg)

 

**[** **_squirrel_ ** **has changed** **_God_ ** **’s username to** **_handsomest god_ ** **]**

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** IFBI WADNT BEFOR EI AMD O GATTTTYYYYY

 

 **cutieeee:** I’m cringing at how bad your spelling is. And Hyunjin, get to work or I will actually fall your mom, I have her contact open >~<

_[ attached image ]_

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** MEGA OOOOOOOOOOOOF

 

 **Cutieeee:**[ _[ see attached image ]_](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1034175635290251269/-GHeF2Jm_200x200.jpg) you make me question whether manners are actually worth it :///

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** awww cutie pie

But whY is yOur roOm so BRIGHT

 

 **Cutieeee:** I’m displeased not cute!!! >~<

 

 **Handsomest god:** bc he’s in the room ofc lol its obvious

 

**[** **_handsomest god_ ** **has changed** **_Cutieeee’_ ** **s username to** **_cutest satan_ ** **]**

 

 **cutest satan:** Hyunjin what was that for???!

 

 **squirrel:** that’s actually so cuteee

I’m

Too cute pLEASe my uwus

sO skOoOtHht

 

 **handsomest god:** thaz bc you tortured me with studying and threatened me lololol

 

 **cutest satan:** >:((((

Sad hours

Also how’s the name cutest satan cute it makes me sound evil

Oh wait I kind of am :>

 

 **handsomest god:** NOOO IM SORRY MINNIE YOURE STILL CUTE AND ADORABLE OK DON’T WORRY

But true lol

You wouldn’t be you without being slightly evil just slightly lmao

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** I SHOULDN’T SAY RHISBIS MY OTP BC THAS ME AND CHANGBIN BUR LIKE THIS IS A CLOSE SECOND I SOFT

 

 **squirrel:** ikr but im questioning your otp you should change it

 

 **cutest satan:** :))) aw thanks hyunjinnie <3

And idk what an otp is so I’m going to ignore felix and jisung

I'm going to go study now bye bye! :D

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** istg seugnmin is more pure than jeongin AHHHAHAHHAHAHA

 

 **squirrel:** always ignore felix dude

anywayssss it's like

3 am???

 

 **cutest satan:** well might as well use my time productively since I'm up early ji hyung

 

 **handsomest god:** jisung I’m going to give you some advice…. *shuffles feet awkwardly*

 

 **squirrel:** seungmin sweetie

 you need to live a little and stop studying so much

Also what advice hyunjin is it love life advice ahhhhhhh

 

 **handsomest god:** rip ham jisung 2k18 bc its too late to give it to you

*HAN

 

 **cutest satan:** well I’m sorry for wanting to maintain a good gpa mr Han Jisung hyung. :/

 

 **handsomest god:** I MEANT HAN

 

 **cutest satan:** but some people take their education seriously and want to earn money and be well known in the local industry. I cant get a scholarship and I won’t be able to stand out in universities unless I have gpas that are 4.1 and above

 

 **squirrel:** oh shit nvm I’m sorry seungmin please no don’t do whatever you have planned dontso itdontdoitdontdoit

 

 **handsomest god:** as a former survivor I pray for you I really do *crosses fingers*

 

 **cutest satan:** as a punishment I am going to (excuse my language) FUCKING SPAM YOU WITH MY NOTES AND I WONT STOP UNTIL YOU CMA ANSWER TEN OF MY QUESTIONS RIGHT IN A ROW YOU HEAR THAT HAN JISUNG HYUNG HUH >~<

AND IM GOING TO DO IT WITH MY AP PHYSIC NOTES

 

**[** **_cutest satan_ ** **has changed** **_squirrel’_ ** **s username to** **_Dumb potato butt_ ** **]**

 

 **Dumb potato butt:** HEYYYYYY KIM SEUNGMIN YOU LITTLE SHIT

Oh no I’m sorry please no donT gIVE METR QUESTIONS SHIT IDK

U MEVER TOOK AP PHYSICS

NO IBDONT KNOW ANYTHIGN SHITBSUITHSI STOPPPPPP

NOOOOOOO

 

 **cutest satan:** you have no right to be begging you peasant now answer my questions and move to pm for goodness’s sake \:

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** OMG GUYS GUYS GUYS I JUST REA FTIS WEBTOON NAD IT WAS CALLED LOST INT RANDLATION A ITWA OG DI IN CRYING I SUDDNELY WANT TO BE A KPOP IDOL AGAIN OMGOMGOMGOGM (╥╥)

 

 **handsomest god:** you read webtoons? uhM … don’t you find fanfics more entertaining… words?

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** pFFt AbOuT wHaT? kLaNcE??! KLANCE IS D E A D

*D E A D

 

 **handsomest god:** klance IS NOT DEAD ISTG

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** yESs IT IS VOLTRON IS DEAD YOU TALL GANGLY AWKWARD EWUALLY DEAD YOUNG MAN

[ _[ see attached image ]_ ](https://data.whicdn.com/images/309894429/large.png)

aNywaYs baCK to wHaT I Waas SAYING

 

 **Dumb potato butt:** omggggg how did you get that pic of minho

 

 **cutest satan:** JISUNG HYUNG YOU DID NOT ANSWER MY QUESTION ABOUT OSCILLATIONS GET BACK TO PM RIGHT NOW THAT’S ONE SHORT ESSYAY QUESTION NOW!! :/

*essay

Also don’t bully people about what they like felix hyung!!! D:

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:**

I have my ways I hope you saved THAT JISUNG

shut uP SEUNGMIN wHAT DO YOU LIKE BESIDES SCHOOL HUH

 

 **handsomest god:** that was mean felix take it back

 

 **cutest satan:** no Hyunjinnie

I’ll tell you what I like felix. I like doing this and I’m sorry in advance

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** tHiS wHaT LMFAO TORTURING PEOPLE WITH AP PHYSICS??

 

**[** **_cutest satan_ ** **has kicked** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **out from SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **handsomest god:** and this is why you never piss off kim seungmin even though his typing becomes more entertaining when he’s pissed cOLd sWeaT SKKKKKK

 

 **changtrashbin:** wth guys I go to the kitchen for a snack to see felix nursing his phone like his baby died

 

**[** **_changtrashbin_ ** **has added** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **handsomest god:** that’s a plot twist oml KSKSKSKSKKSJSKKS

Bunnies hyung you actually likign felix now???!

*binnie

 

 **changtrashbin:** no we made a deal so if I add him back hell cook me some great ramen

[ _[ see attached image ]_ ](https://m.imgur.com/a/ljhho0D)

see

 

 **handsomest god:** im 99.99% sure felix cant cook

and are you stabding on the table

 

 **changtrashbin** : tall weirdos wouldn’t inderstand

BUT SHIT THE WRONF AUSSIE BOT THEN I COULDN’T REMEMBER WHETHER YOU OR CHAN WERE THE RELALT GOOD COOK SO I JUST ACCEPTED

DEALS OFF FELIX I CAN COOK FOR MYSELF

 

**[** **_changtrashbin_ ** **has kicked** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **out of SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **Dumb potato butt:** so uhhhhh I finished what seungmin gave me and WOW HARSH CHANFBIN NEVER TEALIZRD HOW HARSH YOU WERE

 

 **changtrashbin:** id THINK TEICEEE

_[ see attached video ]_

Hi also im back sorRY NOT SORRY SEUNGMIN

MORE LIKE SEUNGMEAN MY GOD

 

 **handsomest god:** your god says no seungmean does not exist only seungmin such a cutie

 

 **changtrashbin:** smooth but I hate iT

-____-

 

 **Dumb potato butt:** did you just

expose toe heals cahngbinnn hyung

*yourseld

 

 **changtrashbin:** yoURe duMb fOr a rEaSon mATE

 

 **Dumb potato butt:** ohhhh it’s YOU felix

 

 **changtrashbin:** now its not

I’m back and you guys better not leak that vid to anyone or ill kill every single one of you une your sleep

Looking at you jisung

 

 **Dumb squirrel butt:** mhm yeah sureeeee

 

 **u’re not chicken:** almost 4 n channie fell asleep 4 the 1st time in weeks everyone shut up bc I can’t log into his phone to turn off notifs

 

 **Dumb squirrel butt:** oh shit ok that boi def needs his sleep smhhHhhhhh

 

 **changtrashbin:** sleep well chan dont die

 

 **Dumb squirrel butt:** reallyyy??!!!!!! “dOnt die”!!??

 

 **u’re not chicken:** shut up b4 u start arguing again

Don’t even bother replying just plz shh

 

**—9:04**

 

 **Dumb squirrel butt:** wAit is no one gonna question why woochan are tigether @ 3am????

 

 **u’re not chicken:** woochan is a platonic ship its what friends do oml

 

 **uwu:** awww, you guys were my otp though!!! :)

 

 **Dumb squirrel butt** : wth are you even old enough to have an otpjeongin

yoUre like 5

 

 **uwu:** please if I’m 5, then you’re 3, hyung

:)))

 

 **Dumb squirrel butt:** OMG GUYS IGUSGD

I JAUF GOT SASSES MG JEONGIN

WTH

JEONGIN HUST SASSED ME

CALL 911

IM

DYING

CRIES

SOBS

MY BROKEN HEART

WAILS

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** *magical box of tissues* aw dont cry jisung :((

 

 **Dumb squirrel butt:** BUT THE MAKNAE SASSED ME AHHHHHH

But thanks minho

You

Are relaky someone I can lean on

 

 **handsomest god:** lord help

But I don’t see jeongin sassing you anywhere

he said please and put smiley faces???? Lol

 

 **Dumb squirrel butt:** what an evil kid ohmigodddd

minho besides the tissues can you protect me

 

 **uwu:** uwu

Also not smooth hyung, you gotta be smoother than that!! >.<

 

 **u’re not chicken:** jeongin’s right

 

 **Dumb potato butt:** iM

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** kindasortamaybedefinitelynoindacuteandadorbaleandrealkytbheperfectpwrsonansinustwanttolearyoyknowrhayillalwaysbebyyoursideevemthoughiseemlikeashitheadandimreallysorryforsometimesbeingmeantoyourcutesquishycheeksandkindperfectbestsoulrhankyoubyehowdoyoutapoutilyinmorsecode

 

 **Dumb potato butt:** um

Ok minho hyung ill assume that you have some great motive like you always do

 


	3. t h r e e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seungmin is cancelled, felix's life dream is accomplished, and chan just wants to fanboy  
> oh, and the saturday night minho tries to win jisung's heart show ft. the magical tissue box

**—15:16**

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** i need a muse for art

Jisungie

The Youre nicest one here be my muse

Pls

 

**handsomest god:** uhHhh you don’t even take art minho?????

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** yes I DO

:(((

 

**[ _chris is hungry™_ to _hyunnie jin_ ]**

 

**chris is hungry™:** play along with it dear

He just wants an excuse to show off and draw jisugn as;dfkjasd;flkj

*jisung

 

**hyunnie jin:** ohhhh

Kay mom makes sense now

 

**chris is hungry™:** call me mom one more time instead of dad and im never gonna change YOUR CONTACT NAME MWAHAHAHAH

 

**hyunniejin:** whats my name anyways lolol

AND DON’T VILLAIN LAUGH IT DOESNT USIT YOU OYU JUST LOOK ALIDEK A NERDY SUPERHERO OBSESEED MOM LMAO

 

**chris is hungry™:** hyunnie jin is now gonna be blocked

Alexa play despacito this is sad my poor child doesn’t know the difference between a mom and dad im sorry it had to come to this a;slkfjaskd;jf

 

**hyunnie jin:** DON’T BLOCK EM

DAD

I CALLECD YOU DAD

NOT MOM

actually second though I hate the name hyunniejin ew block me you insolent father

 

**chris is hungry™:** Free Msg: Receiver 44199 unable to receive message - Message Blocking is active

 

**hyunnie jin:** ew you're a terrible father

 

**chris is hungry™:** dONT YOU DARE CALL ME TERRIBLE 

oR INSOLENT FOR THE AMTTEDR

 

**hyunnie jin:** aaand mr. bang chan has been caught in the pranking act

 

**chris is hungry™:** gDI a;sdlkfjasd;lk

 

 

**[ SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN  ]**

 

**handsomest god:** oh right you do take art minho whoops my bad

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** sodumbohmygodwhyareyousostupidyouknucklehead

 

**handsomest god:** lol what did you even say so weird smh

 

**DAAAAD:** …

 

**dumb potato butt:** isnt that whyh we love minho though bc like hes weird and so unique?????

and yeah ill be glad to be your muse

I mean sure, I don’t mind being your muse

omg that prob sounded weird im sorryyyyy

 

**DAAAAD:** smh skskskkkk

 

**handsomest god:** bro

so whipped

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** if anyone's whipped it's you

 

**uwu:** I have to agree with Minho, hyung!!

 

**handsomest god:** jeongin don’t do this to me pLEASE

 

**uwu:** too late! :)

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** someone call this little person's father lul

 

**uwu:** Changbin hyung is more little than me!! D: Sorry hyung~

 

**DAAAD:** hi i'm the father

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** well damn

channie whatta terrible father your kid is so savage

 

**handsomest god:** don't you like savage people lmao

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** dude I was gonna say it's good that jeonginnie is savage lol

 

**uwu:** Hyung, since when was I "Jeonginnie"??

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:**  since you chose the dark side n became savage

**DAAAAD:** oMG WAIT HOLD UP GUYS EVERYONE COME HERE I HAVE GREAT NEWS

 

**handsomest god:** aaaand bang chan strikes again to be random and change the converstaion

 

**DAAAAD:** ha

ha

HA

sorry not sorry this is why you're not my fav child

anyways seungmin with you ? i like him better and he'd actually appreciate this conversation

 

**handsomest god:** yeah whyh

wow i'm hurt this si why i'm waiting for you to disown me

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** damn hot tea sip sip hoes

 

**DAAAAD:** get his hardworking potato butt here NOW

minho no cursing you should know better gahhhhh

 

**handsomest god:** yed dad

DAD

D A D

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** can I leave

ye im leaving bye brats

 

**uwu:** Hyung, sorry but I think the correct term is b*tches

"Bye b*tches" not "bye brats"

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** nvm this is gold I'm staying

jeongin cursing? hmu

 

**cutest satan:** 1) Jeongin just cursed

 

**DAAAAD:** ohmygod

yang jeongin

we're going to have a talk after this

you hear me?

 

**uwu:** I'm sorry, Dad!!! :((((

 

**DAAAAD:** aw never mind you apologized we don't have to talk you're such a good kide

 

**cutest satan:** 2 ) Is NO ONE going to answer minho's question about how to "say ily in morse code" after Jisung said "iM"?

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** shit

stupid smart kim seungmin

DONT TELL ME I DONT WANNA KNOW ANYMORE

 

**cutest satan:** 3 ) lmao hyunjin's not anyone's favorite child ... and even if he was whipped for someone no one would be whipped for his lanky bean sprout figure

 

**handsomest god:** whoa i am actually

_[ [ see attached image ] ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/97c583f1f0fc229c708d481229f63f12/tumblr_inline_p3jhfuzjiV1s0dsab_500.jpg) _

our 10+ years of friendship is cancelled kim

 

**cutest satan:** Fine, Hwang, no more cheating off my hw!

_[ [ see attached image ] ](https://data.whicdn.com/images/304403607/large.jpg) _

 

**uwu:** Rest in peace, Felix-hyung

 

**ur not chicken:** i thought felix was already dead lel

 

**changtrashbin:** i get here bc chan spams my phone with 12 calls and 3 voicemails and this is what we're talking about that's apprently so important

also felix would like love this bc remember guys his life goal is to become a wordlwide meme gone viral

 

**DAAAAD:** _[[ see attached image ]](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f0/7c/f8/f07cf83adbcf1f985f277254f04d6a22.jpg)_

 

**dumb potato butt:** ooh i see it's felix meme day i see why you wanted me to join the chat so bad ahHAHAHAH

_[ [ see attached image ] ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/4decd19d4df49ebb36fbab4e59763e2c/tumblr_p7d9g4JHq51xq3syxo4_1280.jpg) _

 

**DAAAAD:** ok so who's not here??

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** my straightness

_[ [ see attached image ] ](https://data.whicdn.com/images/310310559/large.jpg) _

duhhh

 

**handsomest god:** pFFT AHAHAHA mE tHOGUH

 

**cutest satan:** mood

 

**handsomest god:** dont copy me kim you're cancelled

 

**dumb potato butt:** *whispers* like cube

 

**DAAAAD:** oh lord here we go

 

**uwu:** Jisung-hyung, let's be real here, Seungmin-hyung is prob more cancelled than cube is ... He's so screwed

 

**cutest satan:** Hwang you're one to talk when you only got those As bc of me

eXCUSE ME JEONGIN

 

**changtrashbin:** oof maknae wars, ep. V: the maknae strikes back

 

**uwu:** You're excused, hyung! :)

 

**DAAAAD:** SKKSKSKSKKKK mATES

SHUT UP

 

**ur not chicken:** channie

 

**changtrashbin:** omg wait i know who we're missing

 

**[ _changtrashbin_ has added _MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

**changtrashbin:** now get on boy or i will expose us

*you

smh auto

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** lol us your auto is wishing for a nonexistent love life

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** oMG CHANGBINNIE MY SAVIOR I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH ITYS BEEN FIVE DAYS AND NO ONE ADDED ME IM GONNA

cRY

 

**cutest satan:** don't tell felix

 

**handsomest god:** lmaoooo no one say anything about what we did

 

**cutest satan:** for god's sake HWANG HYUNJIN STOP COPYING ME

 

**handsomest god:** YOU DID IT FIRST KIM

 

**ur not chicken:** figure it out l8er let chan speak for god's sake it's been 20 mins since he's been trying 2 tell us stuff

 

**dumb potato butt:** mega o o f sorry channnnnnnnnn

but i'm excited to hear what you have to sayyhyy

_[ [ see attached image ] ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/438312181a6ec5dcfb675a1ed82d1eeb/tumblr_inline_p0lzbwZoVc1vsusxt_500.jpg) _

 

**changtrashbin:** you just exposed us no wonder your username iks that

 

**uwu:** Mm so true!

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** imo jisung's rlly smart he just doesn't show it

 

**dumb potato butt:** ^^^ minho's the only one who understands me ^-^;;

 

**DAAAAD:** alright that's it i'm done

i'm saying it

 

**uwu:** Sorry, Chan-hyung!

 

**DAAAAD:** stray kids is making a cb

that's the big news i've been waiting to say

stray kids is making a comeback and i'm broke and i can't buy their next album on preorder bc i'm broke and i spent it all on got7 and twice merch and as;lfajdlsajdf;alfkja it's going to be so EPIC like can you believe it it's their 3rd cb and they've JUST DEBUTED

 

**cutest satan:** OMG

 

**ur not chicken:** plz dont die seungmin lmao

 

**handsomest god:** too late

don't worry well play sk's title song at your funeral seungmin

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** whoahowahowaho WATI HOLD UP

OMGGGGG

MY STAY HEART

OMGOMGOMGOGMGOMGOGMGOMGOGM

I

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** werent you n seungmin cancelled

so you shouldnt be worrying about his funeral

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** I

I

 

**handsomest god:** oh right

sorry kim seungmin i meant that we're going to play your least favorite song at your funeral

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** THIS IS M ERIGHT NOW

_[ [ see attached image ] ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTL8zesXUAEFXtj.jpg) _

 

**changtrashbin:** i'm so done idek who stray kids are

 

**[ _changtrashbin_ has left SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

**dumb potato butt:** *sobs heavily* my bbys

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** *conjures magical tissue box* ik how you feel

 

**DAAAAD:** mhm yes totally lee minho

 

**[ _chris is hungry™_ to _hyunnie jin_ ]**

 

**chris is hungry™:** minho pretending to likke sk for jisung makes me so soft

 

**hyunnie jin:** ikr lol

"ik how you feel"

 

**chris is hungry™:** totally did not get mad at me yesterday n roasted sk's dance line but still pretends to like them for jisung's sake

gaols :,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,)

*goals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy fictober ! also can you believe that it's been one year since hellevator?? i'm just going to cry in the corner here, don't mind me ;-;


	4. f o u r

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the chat reincarnates after two days of inactivity; minho really REALLY hates group chats and woojin snaps quicker than thanos's fingers ( ;-; )

**—17:08**

 

 **DAAAAD:** ITS BEEN TWO DAYS AND NO ONE HAS USED THIS CHAT

EXCUSE YALL I CREATED THIS FOR A REASON

t ALK YOU ANTISOCIAL PEASANTS

jk imma peASant too sorry

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** oh lol forgot this existed

 

 **DAAAAD:** iM

HURT

WOOJIN TELL HIM OFF

 

 **ur not chicken:** i mean... id text here most of the time soooo

sry channie ily tho

 

 **handsomest god:** whoa broskis

 

 **DAAAAD:** reALLY?? bROSKIS

disappointed

 

 **handsomest god:** wait take it back bc you and woojin prob dating so

yknow lol

 

 **ur not chicken:** WE'RE NOT DATING

 

 **DAAAAD:** wE'RE NOT DATING

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** sus

 

 **handsomest god:** sus fuss

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** sussy fussy channie pussy

 

 **[** **_ur not chicken_ ** **has kicked** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **out of SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **DAAAAD:** THANKS WOOJIN OMG

 

 **handsomest god:** oooof minho got kicked out for being minhoe

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** IM W MINHO

AND HYUNJIN

MOSTLY MINHO

 

 **DAAAAD:** no YOU'RE NOT YOUNG LADY

I MEAN MAN

SORRY YOU SOUND LIKE MY COUSIN SOMETIMES DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY

 

 **handsomest god:** imma pretend you didnt say that chan

thats scary, a bang something doing old fortnite dances

 

 **ur not chicken:** yknow everyone stop let's take a break

n rethink this / logically / by concluding that me n chan r not a ship

 

 **handsomest god:** false lol my own parents are lying to me

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** bRO I LOV EYOU BUT YOU AND WOOJIN ARE JUST

SO (づ￣ ³￣)づ 

 

 **ur not chicken:** stop right there felix

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** fUCKING

 

 **ur not chicken:** lee yongbok im warning u

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** PRECIOUSSSSS ( ˘ ³˘)♥ *CUE BAZZI*

 

 **handsomest god:** WHEN YOU SMILEEEE *kazoos the rest bc idk the other lyrics lel*

 

 **[** **_ur not chicken_ ** **has kicked** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **out of SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **handsomest god:** lol woojin you yeeted felix back to australia

and you snapped

CONGRATS THIS IS A FIRST

@cutest satan

@cutest satan @cutest satan @cutest satan @cutest satan

BREAKING NEWS WOOJIN SNAPPED

 

 **ur not chicken:** should i tell him

 

 **DAAAAD:** nah :>

its entertaining

 

 **handsomest god:** TELL ME WHAT

@cutest satan @cutest satan

@cutest satan

nOTICE ME I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS

 

 **ur not chicken:** i feel bad tho

that hes so dumb sometimes

 

 **handsomest god:** fOR GODS SAKE SEUNGMINNIE WHY DO YOU NEVER CHECK YOUR PHONE

@cutest satan @cutest satan

AND WOOJIN IM HRUT IM NOT DUMB A;SDKLFSJ

 

 **DAAAAD:** ok now i'm concerned i'm telling

 

 **handsomest god:** GOOD TELL ME THAT YOU'RE DATING

@cutest satan

 

 **DAAAAD:** nO I'M NOT BUT

me and woojin are literally sitting across the room from you in the library

and

 

 **handsomest god:** sO I NOTICED YOU GUYS THERE A LONG TIME AGO MY WOOCHAN RADAR FUNCTIONS VERY WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH

@cutest satan @cutest satan @cutest satan

 

 **ur not chicken:** no it doesnt bc it doesnt exist

 

 **DAAAAD:** ok hyunjin seriously

 

 **handsomest god:** iM ALWAYS SERIOUS EXCUSE ME

 

 **DAAAAD:** in terms of DUMBNESS YES YOU'RE ALWAYS SERIOUSLY DUMB IM SORRY ALSKFJDS

 

 **handsomest god:** im hurt im smart dad

 

 **DAAAAD:** but you're literally sitting RIGHT NEXT TO SEUNGMIN TAP HIS SHOULDER TO GET HIS ATTENTION

 

 **handsomest god:** oh

 

 **ur not chicken:** oh n...

 

 **handsomest god:** oh and i guess i really am dumb

 

 **ur not chicken:** ty

jk ur smart when u wanna b

 

 **dumb potato butt:** _[see attached image]_

minHo wants me to say hes glad that he was kicked outtttttttttttt

 

 **DAAAAD:** :(((

 

 **[** **_DAAAAD_ ** **has added** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **DAAAAD:** there!! :)))

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** i don't appreciate u

sir

 

 **[** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **has left SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **[** **_DAAAAD_ ** **has added** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **[** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **has left SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **[** **_DAAAAD_ ** **has added** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **[** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **has left SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **[** **_DAAAAD_ ** **has added** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **handsomest god:** You all are immature. ]:

 

 **DAAAAD:** iM IMMATURE??!

EXCUSE mE HYUNJIN IM YOUR FATHER

 

 **handsomest god:** You're excused!! :D Oh and btw this isn't Hyunjin. I thought you were sitting across from us, Channie-hyung so maybe look up to see who it is (;

 

 **DAAAAD:** i already know by the way yOURE TALKING KIM SEUNGMIN SLF;ASKJKFSK

 

 **handsomest god:** :)

Goodbye!

 

 **DAAAAD:** wait

why'RE YOU STANDING

AND HYUNJIN'S LEAVING TOO

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING

DON'T LEAVE

NUuuuuUuuUUuUUUUUU

 

 **handsomest god:** Oh wait!!

 

 **[** **_handsomest god_ ** **has added** **_MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ ** **to SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **handsomest god:** That's so I don't go home to see my phone spammed w/ even more notifs of him crying and begging me to let him back in the chat :)

 

 **DAAAAD:** wait so this is seungmin and you don't have your phone

?

 

 **handsomest god:** Correct and correct

 

 **DAAAAD:** so hyunjin was tagging you for no reason???

 

 **handsomest god:** Also correct!

 

 **DAAAAD:** and I'm assuming he told you to check and then you said no bc you dont have your phone and he thought you were lying and he then searched your whole bag before realizing???

 

 **handsomest god:** Yep... but how do you know it went like that? You weren't watching us when that happened, I glanced at you to see....

 

 **ur not chicken:** bc 50/50 u either have ur phone n just pranking hyunjin or u actually dont

n he's not sure anymore

so he does the same thing every time

 

 **DAAAAD:** smH HYUNJIN DUMBBBB

 

 **handsomest god:** @ur not chicken How did you know that? No one but our parents knows that I do that to him

And chan he's always dumb when w/ me bc he never listens to anything I say :P 

 

 **ur not chicken:** o he's ranted 2 me lmao

 

 **handsomest god:** Oh.

THANK YOU SEUNGMIN FOR GIVING MY PHONE BACK AFTGER 5 BAJILLION YEARS AHHHHHH

 

 **DAAAAD:** oh wait GOSHDARNIT SEUNGMIN YOU DISTRACTED ME YOU GUYS ARE GONE I CANT FOLLOW YALL

WHATTTTT

 

 **ur not chicken:** channie why r u the dad of this group

 

 **DAAAAD:** bc you're THE OTHER ONE HEHE

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** woochan be gayest of gay

 

 **[** **_DAAAAD_ ** **has kicked** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **out of SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **handsomest god:** ooooooooof

but why do you wanna follow us smh chan you're weird sometimes

 

 **ur not chicken:** ya he is

n dumb sometimes

only sometimes

 

 **handsomest god:** everyone's dumb to you and seungmin smh the kims are too smart they're gonna take over the world

 

 **DAAAAD:** it'll be a good place with woojin in charge heh

 

 **handsomest god:** iM SORRY WHAT AOUT SEUNGMIN

 

 **DAAAAD:** he can be second-in-command

if he was in charge it'd be too scary

 

 **handsomest god:** LOL TRUE THOUGH

if you don't have an AVERAGE OF 3.5 IN ALL OF YOUR CLASSES he'll throw hands and drown you ion a hellhole of hw and school-related worksheets

i know from first hand experience

 

 **DAAAAD:** rippppp

my poor son i'll save you nexT TIME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to post this chapter after i finished it in nov so sue me uGH im as dumb as hyunjin is in this chap lol. also this doesnt flow bc yknow unedited to "keep texting as realistic as possible" .... you're welcome to shout "THAT'S A BS EXCUSE MISOSPHERE" or anything else in the comments just don't kill me bc i'd like to make it a month in 2k19 before being killed by school hehe. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


	5. f i v e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan finally realizes that yang jeongin, his baby, has hit puberty.
> 
> (and felix is bullied as usual)

**—2:16**

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** can someone help meeeeee

please it's serious for onCe

 

**—4:53**

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** aNYONe pLeASE

i see

im sad

the one time i'm serious ikn ow some of yiu are up

goodnye worl,d  (﹡ᵗ ᵔ ᵗ ﹡)

 

**minHOEHOEHOE:** _[ click to listen to attached recording ]_

shit that was a mistake ignore

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** hyUng

heLp me iM dyinG

 

 **DAAAAD:** !!!!

mINHo NO CURSINF WHEN JEONGINS IN THE CHAT

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** youtube crashing doesnt equal you dying

 my bad dad

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** iT dOEs

h

Yung

 

 **DAAAAD:** iM YIUR BAD DAD??!?!!!

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** YOURE AN ANZING DAD PLEASE HLWP ME ISM DYING

 

 **DAAAAD:** Felix son

I love you I really do mate bht in times like these

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** YOULL HELO ME FOREVER AND ALWAYS??     (ノ^∇^)

 

 **DAAAAD:** iT is in times like these that the project I procrastinated on comes first

IM SORRY SON

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** dAD

DAAAAAAAAAD NOOUIUUUUUUUU                 (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ

 

**—8:32**

 

 **uwu:** Can someone please help me?

 

 **handsomest god:** meeeeeeee

 

 **DAAAAD:** as your father OF COURSE HEHE

 

 **cutest satan:** Hyunjin I'm literally your free tutor. What can you even teach him

Jk~

 

 **ur not chicken:** if u want ig

 

 **dumb squirrel butt:** i shall help you my young padawannnn

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** gUYS ARE You seriujS

iM SEMI HURT BUT I GET IT

BC

JEONGIN SEWTTI EOF COURSE ILL HELP YOU

 

 **cutest satan:** Y'all need to study smh

But I can help you, Jeongin!! \\(^o^)/

 

 **handsomest god:** woW minnie isn't studying for once

 

 **cutest satan:** You study better if you take breaks in between and I'm currently on a break.

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** dAMN SEUNGMIN COULD YOU MAKE ME FEEL ANY DUMBER

 

 **dumb squirrel butt:** he can

i know from experience >:(

 

 **handsomest god:** but yknow he's actually nice irl

he just seems mean over text skkkkkkkk

 

 **uwu:** Hyungs, sorry to break the "let's-talk-about-Kim-Seungmin" party but... help please?

 

 **DAAAAD:** Yeah, hyungs, listen to the MAKNAE D:

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** oops soRRY jEONGIN CONTINUE

 

 **cutest satan:** Oops.

 

 **handsomest god:** oops

 

 **DAAAAD:** oK ngl i was semi-freaked out by how synchrnoised that was

*synchrnoized

*synchronized

 

 **uwu:** Dad!!

 

 **DAAAAD:** oof rip me sorry innie

 

**[** **_bang bang chan bullet bullet bullet_ ** **to** **_minnie mouse child_ ** **]**

 

 **bang bang chan bullet bullet bullet:** im

a disappointment to fathers ;-;

my yonngest son had to scold me ;alsdkjfska

 

 **minnie mouse child:** You're an amazing father, Channie! uwu~

<3

Jeongin's been scolding everyone lately bc he's growing up ^-^;;

 

 **bang bang chan bullet bullet bullet:** really???

 

 **minnie mouse child:** Yep! Don't ever doubt your father skills :))

 

 **bang bang chan bullet bullet bullet:** o m g

that means JEONGIN IS GOING THROUGH PUBERTY

 

 **minnie mouse child:** Indeed

 

**[** **SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN** **]**

 

 **uwu:** Ok, so I need help with bio because I don't understand it... Photosynthesis and respiration to be exact.

 

 **DAAAAD:** i lOVED THAT UNIT

 

 **uwu:** Great!

 

 **handsomest god:** oh ew photosynthesis

 

**[** **_bang bang chan bullet bullet bullet_ ** **to** **_minnie mouse child_ ** **]**

 

 **bang bang chan bullet bullet bullet:** wait

puberty

OMG DOES JEONGIN HAVE A CRUSH A;SDFKLJASKFD

 

 **minnie mouse child:** Uhm, hyung, I highly doubt that bc he's Jeongin

 

 **bang bang chan bullet bullet bullet:** oh tRUE

a father can only dream though :,,,)

 

**[** **SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN** **]**

 

 **cutest satan:** Oh that... I hate that unit lol

Sorry Innie, I LOVE YOU THOUGH!!!!

 

 **uwu:** I doubt that, hyung ... :)

 

 **handsomest god:**!!!!!

 

 **DAAAAD:** wHATTTT

jeEONGIN WHAT

 

 **uwu:** Who's Jeeongin??

But yeah, I'm saying that because hyung only loves one person. :))))

Like... love-love!

 

 **DAAAAD:** *Jeongin

Sorry, typos :(((

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** HIS MOM

LE L JEONGIN WTHHHHHH EH ONLY LOVES HIS MOM

 

 **cutest satan:** I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

AND FELIX, I LOVE BOTH OF MY PARENTS!!!!!!!!! DD:

Are you guys actually serious??

 

 **DAAAAD:** felix's never serious loL

 

 **cutest satan:** Is this a prank then??

 

 **handsomest god:** he's offended ;00

 

 **cutest satan:** YES I AM HYUNJIN GEE GREAT OBSERVATION SKILLS -___-

 

 **uwu:** Felix-hyung, no, not obligatory love!

@handsomest god

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** oh :>>

 

 **handsomest god:** whY DID YOU @ ME

innIE

 

 **DAAAAD:** ah ISEE AHAHA

 

 **uwu:** :)

 

 **handsomest god:** eXCUSE WHAT DO YOU SEE CHANNIE I JUST SEE JEONGIN @ING ME

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** *sniffs dramatically* ah HYOung love

 

 **cutest satan:** What.

Lol, Jeongin, what?

 

 **handsomest god:** yall im confusion

 

 **DAAAAD:** smH

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** gOOD

 

 **cutest satan:** I'm out. You guys are too confusing :(((

 

 **handsomest god:** jeongin ...

@uwu

seriously

whY DID YOU @ me

 

 **uwu** : Reasons, hyung, reasons you'll understand when you're older!

 

 **handsomest god:** IM OLDER THAN YOU A;SLDJFSD

 

 **uwu:** Well, either way, my job here is done hehe

Chan-hyung, can you still help me with photosynthesis and respiration though?

 

 **DAAAAD:** yA got it inniE 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you somewhat liked this chapter lmao 
> 
> this is so messy i hate this lmao i cant write iM SORRY ( if you think i need to rewrite this fic, comment please lol )


	6. s i x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hm, woochan makes the gc headlines and jeongin makes breaking news ;00   
> ( also where is changbin?? )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentines' day, guys! whether it's with your friends, family, and/or significant other, i hope you guys enjoy today and have fun!! ( some woochan for yall in this update heh hope you guys enjoy <3 )

**—5:21**

 

 **handsomest god:** tell chan

I freaking HATE him

And woojin

 

 **cutest satan:** I’m offended, too.

 

 **handsomest god:** THASVDBCYOUW ETR THERE WITH EM

 

 **cutest satan:** I don’t speak flustered Hyunjin

 

 **handsomest god** : i’ll call you dumb for the rest of your life

 

 **cutest satan** : …

On second thought, I do

 

 **uwu** : Hyungs, why do you guys hate Woochan?

 

 **handsomest god** : Because they *inhales* LIED

 

 **uwu:** Uh? I don’t follow?

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** SPILL THE TEA SHISHTERS

 

 **cutest satan** : Too dramatic, Jinnie

And shut up Felix.

It’s because...

 

 **Uwu:** Because….?

 

 **cutest satan:** Because the truth had been hidden away from us

 

 **handsomest god** : a sign

 

 **cutest satan** : An omen

 

 **handsomest god** : a…

glitch

 

 **cutest satan:** Glitch.

 

 **uwu:** Whoa, guys isn't that a bit low? Using Chan's song against him?

 

 **handsomest god:** at least we didnt use wow i mean sorry chan b ut

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** MATCHING USERNAMES N COMPLETING EACH OTHERS SENTENCES

yall are scARY SYNCHRONIZED

 

 **uwu:** Agreed.

Both with Felix and Hyunjin's last statement.

 

 **cutest satan:** [ _see attached image_ ]

Look at them!! >.<

They're so cute!!!

 

 **uwu:** Is that...?

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** E X P O S E D

MANT HATS SOME HOT TEA RIGHT THERE

 

 **handsomest god:** woochan ship: confirmed

 

 **cutest satan:** I can't believe this but it's true :,,)

 

 **handsomest god:** [ _click to listen to attached recording_ ]

SEE GUYS LISTEN TO HSIT TOO

 

 **uwu:** Wrong recording, Hyunjin.

 

 **handsomest god:** [ _click to listen to attached recording_ ]

ooPS

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** lmFAO did you like hidE IN A BUSH OR SMTHG HYUNJIN

 

 **cutest satan:** That's exactly what happened -__-

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** shit

chan really being the secretive boi here

i am: OFFENDED

@dumb potato butt

@ changtrashbin

@minHOEHOEHOE

WHY ISNT CAHNGBINS THING WORKGIN

 

 **cutest satan:** Okay but the fact they've been hiding this...

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** idc felix

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** RUDE

 

 **handsomest god:** how though :^)

 

 **cutest satan:** Oh, shut up, Hyunjin

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** yall need to calm yourselves now bye

 

 **dumb potato butt:** ooh tea congrats woochan whooooo

@DAAAAD @urnotchicken congrats!!

gtg though teh witch is on my back fo ropening the darkrom emergecny door by accident

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** oof gl ms lee is-

 

 **dumb potato butt:** its NTO MFY AULT THE LOCK WAS BROKEN

 

 **cutest satan:** Why do I feel like you were the one who broke the lock, Jisung??

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** he gone

deceased

bye jisung we'll miss you :,(

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** bUT CHANGBIN

 

 **handsomest god:** whatta whipped boi

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** shut up

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** GUYS NO ONE  S LISTENING WHAT ABOUT CHANGBIN

 

 **uwu:**!!!

Anyways I can't believe that our dads are actually... officially our dads...

 

 **handsomest god:** ikrrrr

 

 **cutest satan:** I demand an explanation, time to go on the chat with all of us. \\(^o^)/

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** this is the chat dumbass

 

 **handsomest god:** oh

crap

sorry minnie

 

 **cutest satan:** B**ch, I'm not a dumb*ss

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** TEA

since wree already cursing SIP SIP BITCHES

 

 **uwu:** Fight, fight, fight!

 

 **cutest satan:** Okay, NO, JEONGIN, I'M REALLY CONCERNED NOW

 

 **handsomest god:** he's concerned enough to type in all caps

 

 **DAAAAD:** I TOLD YALL NOT TO CURSE

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** bitch

 

 **uwu:** There's our first dad!!

 

 **handsomest god:** speak of the DEVIL

MISTER BANG CHAN YOUVE BEEN EXPOSED

 

 **cutest satan:** Scroll up, and you'll see... o.O

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** congrats for getting a bf and all but did you fuck woojin yet

 

 **cutest satan:** Minho!!! THAT'S TOO RUDE AND DIRECT, OH MY GOD!!!!

 

 **handsomest god:** now hes typing in all caps @ minho

whatta exciting day

 

 **uwu:** Ah, it kind of is an important question though.

 

 **handsomest god:** im

jeongin

im so

you gave seungmin a heart attack btw

 

 **cutest satan:** What happened to the Jeongin I used to know?

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** welp hoes the tea refill i ordered is finally here nice and HOT

 

 **DAAAAD:** STOPSTOPSOATP

JOENING NO NO NO WHOS BEING SUCH A BAD INFLUENCE TO YOU

MINHO I KNOW ITS YOU CONTAMINATING JEONGIN LIKE THIS

EFELIX

SEUNGMIN ODNT DIE

BUT I DID EXPECT BWTTER FROM YOU SEUNGMIN

MINHO SHUT UP YOURE DEAD I KJNOW YOUR ADDRESSEA

YOU ARE TOo HYUNJINn

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** whoa whoa whoa no im not a bad influence on jeongin

 

 **[** ** _that cute insomniac_** **_< 3 _****to** ** _that adorable bear uwu_** **]**

 

 **that cute insomniac <3: **woojin

bby we're in trouble

weve been exposed

theyfound otu bc of todays date

IMS RORY

 

**[** **SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **cutest satan:** Okay, but seriously, why did you hide the truth from us?

We would've understood, Channie :/

 

 **handsomest god:** agreed

 

 **uwu:** Yeah, I really wish you told us that you guys were dating instead of denying it...

 

 **DAAAAD:** i'm... sorry i know its hard to believe and whatnot but i truly am

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** Don't get us wrong, Channie, we're not mad at you, we're just disappointed and excited at the same time.

 

 **cutest satan:** Agreed.

 

 **handsomest god:** exactly!

what felix said!!

wait

 

 **cutest satan:** I'm impressed

 

 **handsomest god:** im shook

 

 **uwu:** Holy shiitake mushrooms, Felix-hyung!

 

 **minHOEHOEHOE:** *holy shit

 

 **DAAAAD:** lelelel

thanks guys i'm kidna glad you understand

i guess i just wasnt ready to say that i was dating someone

and minh o i'm done w you

 

**[** **_DAAAAD_ ** **has kicked** **_minHOEHOEHOE_ ** **out of SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN ]**

 

 **cutest satan:** Oh yeah, Woojin's your first bf, right?

Congrats though!!

You guys are highkey ADORABLE!!!

 

 **DAAAAD:** thanks seungmin~

i gtg now but we'll talk later as a family mkay

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** i LOV EHOW YOU KICKED MINHO OUT BUT STILL KEWEP THE ADORABLE CONVERSATION GOING

 

 **handsomest god:** he's blushing bet

 

 **cutest satan:** Really, Hyunjin?

 

 **uwu:** Wow, Mr. Obvious, I didn't guess that.

But seriously, Minho-hyung's right.

Did you and Woojin fuck yet?

 

 **MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** holy crap thats SOOOO making headlines tmrw

"little baby yang jeongin asks whether his dad ever fucked his other dad"

 

 **handsomest god:** oh look you made seungmin faint thanksa lot fro making me carry him backto his house

 

 **uwu:** Sorry not sorry! :)

 

**[** **_that cute insomniac <3_ ** **to** **_that adorable bear uwu_ ** **]**

 

 **that cute insomniac <3: **nvm its all a ok!!

ignore me panicking i lvoe youuuuu

 

**—21:26**

 

**[** **_that adorable bear uwu_ ** **to** **_that cute insomniac <3_ ** **]**

 

 **that adorable bear uwu:** ily2 bby

see i told u it would b fine even if we told them u need 2 relax smh

and plz dont apologize 4 today's date lol i enjoyed spending time with u and i'm glad the kids know now :))

ilyyyy <3 <3 <3

 

 **that cute insomniac <3: **i love you tooooooo

you always end up being right though tbh lol

 

 **that adorable bear uwu:** tru tru u idiot

ik ur gonna say ur my idiot dont say it n sleep 4 tmrws chapter test~

 

 **that cute insomniac <3: **mkay i will dont worryyyyyyy

 

**—22:03**

 

 **that cute insomniac <3: **wait can i stay at your place??

 

 **that adorable bear uwu:** thought u'd never ask

 


	7. s e v e n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan's too innocent, jisung's dumb (but what's new?), and changbin's finally added back smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg it's been like 123948732487 billion years since i've been on here but 203 kudos on this mess??!! thank you so much omg i love yall *spams hearts on everyone reading this fic*

**—15:04**

 

**[ _cutest boi ever_ to _hes an angel omg_ ]**

 

 

 

 

**cutest boi ever:** yooo

 

**hes an angel omg:** dont yo me smh

 

**cutest boi ever:** hoe

 

**hes an angel omg:** n you know it sungie ;)

 

**cutest boi ever:** i'm

 

**hes an angel omg:**  in love with lee minho oppar and would do everything and anything he asks of me

 

**cutest boi ever:** you suck

 

**hes an angel omg:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**cutest boi ever:** IHATE YOU

 

**[ _dumb potato butt_ has changed  SOCIALIZE MY CHILDREN to minho? more like meanho ]**

**[ ** _dumb potato butt_** has changed _minHOEHOEHOE_ 's username to _meanho_ ]**

**[ _dumb potato butt_ has added _changtrashbin_ to  minho? more like meanho ]**

 

**DAAAAD** : why skksksk i just want a nice family chat

 

**ur not chicken** : jisung, u good?

 

**dumb potato butt:** tHE CHAT NAME

 

**DAAAAD** : ah

i see

minho please apologize

 

**meanho** : bUT jisung's cyberbullying me, dad

 

**ur not chicken** : listen 2 chan

 

**meanho** : you only agree bc you want sum 🍆

 

**ur not chicken:** oHmigOD

 

**[ _ur not chicken_ has kicked _meanho_ out of the  minho? more like meanho ]**

 

**dumb potato butt** : see, minho's mean

but then agin he's not wrong

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**ur not chicken:** STOP ISTG

 

**DAAAAD** : im confusion

what's so bad about woojin wanting an eggplant

 

**dumb potato butt:** uh

 

**ur not chicken:** bc i hate eggplants

as in, i LOATHE them

thats why its bad

 

**dumb potato butt:** yeah!!!

hahahahaah

 

**DAAAAD** : oh

i see

 

**handsomest god:** channie we love you lololol

 

**dumb potato butt** : doNT HINT HYUNJIN OMG

 

**handsomest god:** wHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING

 

**ur not chicken:** guys shush

 

**DAAAAD** : arE YALL DRUNK

PLEAE GOD NO I RASIE DYOU BETTER THAN THAT

 

**changtrashbin** : Their drunk

And jisung, I hate you for adding me back

 

**ur not chicken** : *they're

 

**changtrashbin** : Wow I'm hurt

 

**handsomest god:** when are you not, you sensitive wannabe teenager grandpa

 

**DAAAAD** : be nice!!! hyunjin!!!!!

 

**handsomest god** : it's changbin thoughhhhhhhh

 

**DAAAAD** : ....

 

**ur not chicken:** tru

 

**changtrashbin** : Go back to bullying Minho not me istfg

 

**DAAAAD** : LANGUAGE

 

**ur not chicken** : he's not here lol

and ur fun 2 tease

 

**handsomest god** : oof rip changbin 2k19

 

**changtrashbin** : Well next is YOU if you don't shut up, Hyunjin

 

**DAAAAD** : i mean, i think hyunjin has the right to talk bc he's a good child who doesn't curse unlike you

OMG IM SO SORRY THAT WAS TOO MEAN IM SORRYSORRYOSORYY

 

**changtrashbin** : Your a terrible father omfg the favoritism

 

**ur not chicken:** *you're

 

**DAAAAD** : the disrespect that i deserve

don't curse changbin

 

**dumb potato butt:** le gasps

i hate minho but i love changbin more so i suppose i'll savehis poor soul from old man woojin

 

**[ _changtrashbin_ has added _meanho_ to  minho? more like meanho ]**

 

**dumb potato butt:** nvm changbin took matters in his own hands

 

**changtrashbin** : Hell yeah

 

**DAAAAD** : LANGUAGE CHANGBIN THERES KIDS IN THIS CHAT

 

**changtrashbin** : kay chill

( But we're all kids )

 

**[ _handsomest god_ has changed  minho? more like meanho to meanhoe ]**

 

**meanho** : omg hyunjin you DUMMY

ho was spelled right

 

**[ _handsomest god_ has changed _meanho_ 's username to _meanhoe_ ]**

 

**handsomest god** : i KNOW that lol

it's called CENSORING

 

**DAAAAD** : OML HYUNJIN I FEEL SO PROUD OF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU HYUNJIN SKFSDKFJAS;KF

 

**meanhoe** : ...

 

**handsomest god:** sorry :((

 

**changtrashbin** : One would think minho was as smart as he was pretty but sike

 

**dumb potato butt:** you think minho's pretty

?

MINHO

???!

outta all ppl????

 

**handsomest god:** you have to be blind not to lellllll

is that jealousy i see oooOOh

 

**meanhoe** : wow thx hyunjin i'm gonna buy you some lunch tmrw for calling me pretty uwu

 

**dumb potato butt** : NO

 

**meanhoe** : um

 

**ur not chicken** : fun

 

**handsomest god:** tea lol

 

**dumb potato butt** : i mean,,,

no hyunjin i'm not jealou why would i be jlaous hahahfa

oops my cats calling bye gtg ttyl

 

**meanhoe** : jisung you're allergic to cats

you don't even have cats smh

 

**dumb potato butt** : BYE

 

**meanhoe** : i'm... confused tho??

 

**ur not chicken** : he's more awkward than chan lol

it's entertaining 2 watch u guys

 

**handsomest god** : ikr

 

**ur not chicken** : u guys means ALL of you

 

**handsomest god** : oh weLP

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : WAITC HANGBIN YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT YOU GOT KICKED OUT AND WAS NEVERA DDED BA CK

THISIS A CRIME

 

**[ _wannabe emo_ to _dumbjin_ ]**

 

**wannabe emo** : Shit lix is in teh chat if he asks I'm at burger king

 

**dumbjin** : uh

 

**wannabe emo** : do it or I'm telling Seungmin that you failed your recent alg2 test

 

**dumbjin** : that's so dirty why :(

but ok lol

 

 

 

_As Seungmin squints down at his quite frustrating AP World History essay, he sneezes loudly, glasses sliding down to the bridge of his nose. His thoughts drift automatically to Hyunjin, a small smile gracing his lips as he thinks about the slightly older male who would normally tease his sneeze for "sounding like a can opening". His thoughts then drift to the Algebra 2 test that Hyunjin was also worried about a week or so earlier, and Seungmin picks up his phone like the good best friend he is._

 

 

**[ _my bff ayyy_  to _jinnie_ ]**

 

**my bff ayyy** : Hey, did she grade that Alg2 test you were worried about?

 

**[ _dumbjin_ to _wannabee emo_ ]**

 

**dumbjin** : CHANGINB YOU JINXED ME I HATE YOU

JK I LOVE YOU BUT I DONT APPRECIATE YOU JINIXNIG ME


	8. e i g h t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> apparently felix acts really drunk when he's sleep deprived (poor changbin) and apparently chan has given up on controlling his kids. jeongin and woojin are ridiculously savage w/ their smiley faces. and oh right, let's add in some bully-hyunjin time and .01 secs of minsung! 
> 
> (or: there's too many things going on here for me to properly summarize)

**—02:27**

 

**changtrashbin** : i need help

felix is drunk

like sleep-deprived drunk

help thanks

 

**uwu** : Hyung, isn’t he your roommate? So he's your problem?

 

**changtrashbin** : go to sleep you baby

on second thought, the level of passive aggressiveness in that text istg

 

**uwu** : Ohh, I hate passive aggressiveness, let me rephrase it: sucks to suck, hyung.

 

**changtrashbin** : i’m-

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** iNNiEEeE

OMGGGMDKKF GUYS I HAD A THOGUHTNTKAKKSKSBE

ok got his phone back bless, i’m scared about what he might saloqiwowkndo

ANYWYAS LIKE PLANTS ARE LIVING THINGS TOO

AND THEIR SEEDS TAKE LIKE A FEW WEEKS BEFORE THEY GROW OUT OF THE SOIL RIGHT??

 

**uwu** : Control your man, Binnie-hyung!!

And you mean until they germinate, Lix-hyung?

 

**changtrashbin** : HES ON THE RUN HES ON THE RUN I REPEAT FELIX IS RUNNING AWAY FROM ME CALL THE COPS

CHANNIE HYUNG

WOOJIN HYUNG

ugh too old to be running around like this

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** yeAH THAT GERMINATION ANYWAYS

 

**changtrashbin** : GUYS HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM HE NEEDS TO SLEEP WHAT DO I DO

 

**uwu** : Hyung, you had one job!! He's your dorm mate!!!

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : WHAT ID BEFORE THEY GERMINAYE THE PLANTS GO TO LIKE SOME SCHOOL OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT

AND THEY LEARN STUFF

AND LIKE WE MAJOR RIGHT IN COLLEGE?? BUT THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE LIKE WHAT PLANT THEY WANT TO BE WHEN THEY GROW UP AMD LIKE IN OUR ECOSYSTEM THERES PEOPLE WHO ARE REALLY SICCESSFUL AND PEOPLE WHO REALLY ARENT

LIKE FOR EXAMPLE THE SHITTY VETERINARIAN HYUNJIN BROUGHT KKAMI TO LIKE TWO YEARS AGO AND WAS SCARRED BY VS THE VET HE GOES TO NOW

 

**uwu** : Man, it’s definitely a you problem, Changbin-hyung... Bye!! :)

 

**meanhoe** : I have taught him well

so proud of u jeongin

 

**changtrashbin** : oH FOR FUCKS SAKE ITS 2 AND I WANT TO SLEEP AND LIX NEEDS TO SLEEPHES BEEN AWAKE FOR LIKE 3 DAYS STRAIGHT

WHERE ARE THE DADS

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** BUT LIKE ANYWAYS LIKE THE PLANTS GERMINATE OR WHATEVER RUGHT? AND THEN THEY GROW AND SHIT BC APPARENTLY EVERYTHING NEEDS TO GROW BUT LIKE THERES US

AND WERE HURTING THE PLANTS FEELINFS EVERYDAY BY BEING SO SELFISH AND SHALLOW

“OH I WANT THE ROSE ITS SO PRETTY” BUT THEN THEY OVERLOOK THE HONEYSUCKLE RIGHT THERE AND ITS ALL IGNORED AND LONELY AND ALL ITS HARDWORK IS FOR NOTHING

BC WHAT IF PLANTS HAVE FEELINFS TOO BUT WERE JUST TOO SELFISH TO NOTICE

 

**cutest satan:** Use a credit card, hyung.

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : I FEEL SI BADDDD THE PORO PLANTS SLISJDJDKDIJEKEK

 

**cutest satan** : And uhm, as ridiculous as most of it is, some parts were actually pretty deep despite the fact that no, plants don’t have feelings.

Or train in school or whatever.

 

**changtrashbin** : WHAT DO I DO W A CREDIT CARD HOW DOES THAT HELP HES SOBBING I CAN HEAR HIM SOBBING THIS IS BAD OMG

 

**cutest satan** : I see your mind isn’t as sharp as your jawline. Slide the credit card between the door and the lock, it works, I’ve done it a lot.

Did you do it yet?

 

**changtrashbin** : ok i just tucked Felix into his bed, he fell asleep while crying smh

it actually worked though wtf

Also i’m mildly concerned about you saying that you’ve done it a lot????

 

**cutest satan:** Hyunjin’s my childhood best friend??

 

**changtrashbin** : nvm, makes perfect sense now

wow poor you dealing w his dumbass

but you love it bet

 

**cutest satan:** No I don’t  >~<

 

**dumb potato butt** : YOU LOVE HIMMMM

 

**cutest satan** : I don’t! Please drop this, I was going to sleep but now I can’t if you fill the chat w/ false rumors…

:((((

 

**changtrashbin** : stfu you do and you can't lie

 

**dumb potato butt** : SEUNGMINNIE LOVES HYUNJINNIEEEEEEEEEEEE

THEY EVEN HAVE MATCHING USERNAMESSSSS

THEYRE SOULMATESSS BC THEY LOVE EACH OTHERRRR AND ITS NOT FALSE RUMORSSS

 

**[ _cutest satan_ has kicked _dumb potato butt_ out of minho? more like meanhoe ]**

 

**changtrashbin** : Bruh, he has a point though

You love him

 

**[ _changtrashbin_ has added _dumb potato butt_ to  minho? more like meanhoe ]**

 

**dumb potato butt:** OH HELL YES BBYYYYY

SEUNGMIN DON’T DENY YOUR EVERLASTING LOVE FOR HYUNJIN

 

**cutest satan** : He’s just my best friend!

 

**dumb potato butt** : OH SHUSH YOU LOVE HIM MAYHAPS BC HES AN ATTRACTIVE DORK? OR A SEXY DANCING QUEEN?

*BLASTS ABBA’S DANCING QUEEN*

 

**cutest satan** : First of all, why Abba? Everyone here HATES Abba.

Second of all, on that note:

 

**[ _cutest satan_ changed d _umb squirrel butt_ ’s username to _blackberry_ ]**

 

**blackberry** : also I know my hair’s blue now but blackberries aint blue seungmin lolll

wAIT SEUNGMIN MADE A MOSTAKE OMG GIYS CELEBRATE

 

**cutest satan** : Oh, you thought I was referencing the hair and fruit? Oh no, your name is blackberry bc it’s just as outdated as you are.

 

**blackberry** : I’m-

seungmean is back in the house and i’m sad

run for your lives

oh is he gone?

wait why was he even on in the first place lmao whatta surpriseee

 

**—02:47**

 

**blackberry** : is no one here now

anyoneeeeee

i’m horeddddddd and I don’t feel like binging anythinggggg

sure

okok i’ll try and sleep now since everyone’s being such a bore today

i just realized that i don't get it either like how is a blackberry outdated we eat them

 

 

**—08:29**

 

**handsomest god:** idk about you guys but I think lix is right about everything he said lolol

also he's not referencing the fruit hes referring those re al ly old phones LMAO

 

**blackberry** : ohhhh

still dont know dont care whooPS

btw youre seungmin’s dumb idiot im telling you, S E U N G M I N ‘ S

 

**handsomest god** : nah, other way around seungmins mine :)

bc best friend privileges

ya know

yeyeyeyeye

wait

ayusdg;alsdfkjJF;ILWqjkL;KJFD;SALFAKJSIO

I DIDNT MEAN FOR THE FIRST STATEMENT TO SOUND SO GAY SORRY MINNIE

 

**blackberry** : but yall gay

 

**handsomest god** : and you're not??

 

**blackberry** : good point sa;lkdjfskajf;dkljf

 

**meanhoe** : best friend privileges my ass

 

**blackberry** : *nonexistent ass

 

**meanhoe** : and howd you know

 

**blackberry** : bc you suck xoxo

 

**handsomest god** : aHEM

JUST SO YOU KNOW ITS NOT JUST THE TWO OF YOU IN THIS CHAT SO FLIRT SOMEWHERE ELSE

 

**meanhoe** : ITS NOT FLIRTING BITCHHHH

wHY WOULD I FLIRT W JISUNG OUT OF EVERYONE HUH

 

**blackberry** : we'RE NOT FLIRTING

 

**DAAAAD** : I didn’t read the whole conversation (sorry y’all) but felix why haven’t you been sleeping skskskskksks

 

**changtrashbin** : imma snitch and say that he procrastinated on a project

but it actually looks really nice… like he created a website and I helped him revise it, and it was really informative too

 

**DAAAAD** : ahhhh that’s not good though like mate stop procrastinating D:

BUT IM PROUD O FYOU FELIX

 

**blackberry** : ahHhHh there’s that changlix content we were dEpRiVEd of

 

**handsomest god** : lol they're like that cute but nerdy tutoring couple or smthg

 

**ur not chicken** : sleep in, u deserve it lix, we’re proud of you n i’m sure ur project turned out rly amazing 💞

 

**DAAAAD** : woojin’s statement is SECONDED SKSKSKS FELIX IM VVVVV PROUD OF YOU!!!

 

**handsomest god:** awww the dads are being soft and cute~

 

**blackberry** : when are theyn ot

 

**handsomest god:** trueeee

also i'm surprised channie-hyung didn't notice all the cursing

 

**DAAAAD** : oh i did

i just gave up

what's the point if the baby curses too

 

**ur not chicken** : awww dw chan at least they're good kids

 

**blackberry** : THAT MEANS WE CAN CURSE NOW?? OH HELL YESSsSS BBBY

 

**DAAAAD** : right

i still love yall

but at the same time yall curse more than sailors

 

**handsomest god:** HEYYY I DONT CURSE HERE

 

**blackberry** : YeAH YoU Do iN IRL

 

**handsomest god:** ok that was TWO TIMES T W O T I M E S

 

**changtrashbin** : more times than that

 

**handsomest god** : oh nO

SOMEONE S AVE M E

I DONT CURSE MUCHHHH H IRL

 

**meanhoe** : the time you got kkami the wrong dog food: "im so fucking stupid"

 

**blackberry** : when we went to that haunted house and you went alone and screamed oH sHit oH sHiT I dONT wANT tO FuCKING DiE TODAY the whole time?

 

**meanhoe** : now that i think about it, a lot of you curseing was related to kkami

or dying

 

**handsomest god** : minsUNG STO PGANGING UP ON ME

 

**ur not chicken** : u screamed a lotta profanities when u stubbed ur toe when we had movie night @ my place

 

**handsomest god** : woOJIN HYUNG YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHILL DADDDDD

 

**ur not chicken** : might wanna rethink tht :)

 

**changtrashbin** : bruh he curses every time he sees like seungmin's photos for photography n shit

"holy fuck"

"thats so fucking beautiful wtf"

"holy shit"

"holy fucking shit"

or some variation

 

**meanhoe** : i mean dont blame him

seungmin's photos are top quality

 

**blackberry** : pHENOMONAL ABSOLUTELY PHENOMONAL *WIPES RANDOM TEARS*

 

**handsomest god** : *phenomenal

 

**blackberry:** stoP it aint cool bRO

grammar nazis aren't weLCOME HERE

 

**handsomest god:** ugh THAT’S IT im done stop bullying me keep appreciating seungmin aka the gOD OF PHOTOGRAPHY THANKS BYE

 

**[ _handsomest god_ has left  minho? more like meanhoe ]**

 

**meanhoe** : whipped

lowkey wanna see seungmin blushing now when he reads this

 

**changtrashbin** : seconded

ah tis a pity that he left

 

**[ _changtrashbin_ has added _handsomest_ _god_ to  minho? more like meanhoe ]**

 

**blackberry** : tis a pity that he's back

 

**[ _blackberry_ has kicked _handsomest god_ out from  minho? more like meanhoe ]**

 

**changtrashbin** : ok then

i'm oddly really happy that he's not in the chat anymore

 

**blackberry** : me too man me too

 

**ur not chicken** : oml

this is wht happens when me or chan isn’t here? n they ask why my screentime is so low

**[ _ur not chicken_ has added _handsomest god_ to  minho? more like meanhoe ]**

**ur not chicken:** :)

 

**blackberry** : ouch

 

**changtrashbin** : i-

 

**blackberry** : he just passive aggressively said his screentime is low bc of us???!

 

**changtrashbin** : also why do jeongin’s and his smiley faces look so threatening?

smiley faces are supposed to be cheerful but they’re so scary

 

**blackberry** : IKRRRR

 

**handsomest god:**  did you know that smiley faces aren't symmetrical and even though seungmin uses them a lot it bugs him

so like if you guys ever wanna annoy him to death spam a bunch of smiley faces

 

**changtrashbin** : he’s back lord help us all

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** IKRRr ONE TIME HE WAS TALKING TO mE ABOUT IT AND NOW IT ANNOYS ME TOO FS:LKDSLK

 

**blackberry** : oH YES FELIXXXX

 

**uwu** : I want more Changlix content now, or I’m suing!! :)

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : BROOO INNIE YOURE TOO YOUNG TO SUE WE NEED TO PRITECT YOU FROM THE WORLD

 

**handsomest god:** I'm a bit insulted no one cheered my name hwen i came back

 

**blackberry** : what innie said is seconded by everyone else in this chat

what hyunjin said... no one cares yEET

also yes cHANGLIZ

*CHANGLIX

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : HOW COULD YOU MAKE A TYPO W OUR SHIP NAME I AM

[ [see attached image](https://media.giphy.com/media/UiuOMYkRxG836/giphy.gif) ]

 

**blackberry** : ayyy vines my boi lezgetit :,)

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND:** yES

 

**—11:28**

 

**[ _that cute insomniac <3_ to  _that adorable bear uwu_ ]**

**that cute insomniac <3:** I love them but that chat gives me anxiety

 

**that adorable bear uwu:** same bby same

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand the worst updater of the year goes to: M E ty ty tysm woW! anyhow, idk why there are so many kudos on this, like thank you so much it makes me SOFT but y'all are way! too! nice! (also the skz cb today has m e SCREAMING, i've been trying to play it on my piano ever since it came out lol I love them he lP)
> 
> anyways, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH TOO!!! imma pre-write some more chaps for this month and try to publish them at least weekly (keyword: TRY)


	9. n i n e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> therapy time ft. changbby + chan snAPS and only woojin and jeongin are spared aka his babies. changbin dies along the way but pshhh, donate to the innie purity jar for the chan's sanity foundation!
> 
> ( woojin may have broke chan.exe?? the true power of bfs )

**[ _changbby_ to _byungchan_ ]**

 

**changbby** : i have a question

 

**byungchan:** uhhH i'll answer if yOU change my name from byungchan

**changbby** : i'll ask my question if you change my name from changbby

 

**byungchan** : ????

thAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE BIN

 

**changbby** : oh shit you're right

huh

 

**[ _changbby_ to _c(h)rispy_ ]**

 

**changbby** : ok you're now c(h)rispy

 

**c(h)rispy** : ...

i sHOULDN'T BE LAUGHING BUT I AM I LOVE YOU

 

**changbby** : yeah yeah, anyways, how did you know you liked woojin?

 

**c(h)rispy** : *woojin-hyung

but wow that's deep

 

**changbby** : oh shut up, it's not like you call him "hyung" either

before you dated

anyhow

 

**c(h)rispy** : uhm to be truthful, I don't know... like one day, woojin was like the most beautiful person ever and one of my closest friends and then the next day he was somehow the most beautiful person ever and one of my closest friends who's my bf

yknow it's so weird bc he asked me out

but like

it was so sudden

but he like sang an english song for me to confess with his guitar

 

**[ _changbean_ to _jisings bad ]_**

**changbean** : i think i unleashed grandpa chan

 

**jisings bad** : RIPPPPP

SORRY BRO (not sorry mwahahahahah)

 

**[ _c(h)rispy_ to _changbby_ ]**

 

**c(h)rispy** : hiS G U I T A R

DO YOU KNOW HOW HOT GUYS W GUITARS ARE??!!!

LIKE ASDFH;'LSKFJ

 

**changbby** : so how did you know you liked him again?

 

**c(h)rispy** : oh right sorry

uhM

it's kinda cheesy sksksksk

 

**changbby** : you're always cheesy, wdym?

 

**c(h)rispy** : sksks sadly true sorry mate

anyhow uh

WAIT WHY ARE YOU ASKING?

 

**changbby** : uh for science

psychology, to be exact

haha

did you know it was scientifically proven that the anxiety level of a typical hs student = anxiety levels of psychiatric patients in the 1950's?

 

**c(h)rispy** : rightttttt

you're like turning into Seungmin or smthg now lol

 

**[ _ugly chin_ to _duomingo bird_ ]**

 

**ugly chin** : i just want to say that i immensely appreciate you for your random nerdy facts that you casually drop out of nowhere

god bless kim seungmin

 

**duomingo bird:** You're welcome, now change my contact name.

 

**ugly chin** : yeah yeah well hola madrefucker i'm keeping it

now stop scaring me u meance

 

**duomingo bird** : "meance"

 

**ugly chin** : STUPID GRAMMAR NAZI

 

**duomingo bird** : Stupid ugly shortie.

 

**ugly chin** : fuCK YOU BETTER RUN YOU PUNK

 

**duomingo bird** : Even if I walk, you would be too short to catch up to me...

 

**[ _c(h)rispy_ to _changbby_ ]**

 

**c(h)rispy:** anyways, I think I wasn't romantically into Wooj until beginning of junior year

like it just struck me like: oh frick, he looks really hot when he's taking notes

 

**changbby** : oh

 

**c(h)rispy** : lmao but for your situation, it's better than the pining one I was in

like you KNOW he likes you so go for it!

 

**changbby** : I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT LOVING SOMEONE

 

**c(h)rispy** : father's intuition mboy

 

**changbby** : ok STOP W/ THE GRANDPA TALK

ITS FREAKY

AND IM NOT TALKING ABOUT LOVE

I ASKED SPECIFICALLY HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU LIKED WOOJIN

L I K E D

aND THEN YOU StARTED TALKING ABOUT LOVE

 

**c(h)rispy** : well whether you like or love someone, i know who you're talking about it

and i'm just gonna say yes you do GO FOR IT!!

 

**changbby** : ug h dads

 

**c(h)rispy** : </3

 

**[ minho? more like meanhoe ]**

 

**changtrashbin** : it just came to my attention

that chan is very whipped for woojin

 

**ur not chicken** : n vice versa

 

**blackberry** : ah yes unleash the innER GAY

 

**changtrashbin** : and it came to my attention

@ ur not chicken

that chan thinks that you're very hot when you play the guitar

 

**ur not chicken** : I'll keep that in mind

thx

 

**DAAAAD** : eye

CHANGBIN

 

**blackberry** : this is SO CUTE IM SCREECHING A;LDKFJSKFJ

 

**DAAAAD** : -_-

well it just came to MY attention

that changbin is very whipped for people w/ freckles

 

**changtrashbin** : what

nO

 

**DAAAAD** : IM NOT DONE YET

 

**ur not chicken** : pop off chris

 

**blackberry** : WOOJ DID YOU JUSET SAY

"pOP OFF"??!

 

**ur not chicken** : courtesy of jeongin

 

**DAAAAD** : it has also come to my attention that jisung is whipped for cat-obsessed guys

and hyunjin is whipped for nerds w/ cute round glasses

so THEREFORE, it has come to my attention, CHANGBIN, that yall are COWARDS

C O W A R D S

except for woojin and jeongin sweetie <3

 

**blackberry** : I

damn

I

CHANNNNNNNN hOLY FUCK

 

**changtrashbin** : ok I see how it is

 

**DAAAAD** : AND IVE DECIDED nO CURSING

50 CENTS EVERYTIME YOU CURSE STARTING FROM NOW

THERES A BABY IN THIS CHAT

 

**ur not chicken** : wow I didn't think tht u'd actually follow through w tht idea

 

**changtrashbin** : WOOJ CONVINCE HIM NOT TO DO THIS

 

**ur not chicken:** can't do tht if I support him

 

**changtrashbin** : ugh fucking boYFRiENDS GDI

 

**DAAAAD** : 50 cents now

 

**changtrashbin** : as iF yOUD FOLLOW THROUGH W THAT

 

**blackberry** : binnie???

I wouldn’t do that like chan seem slike he genuinely snapped agdfajdskfj

 

**uwu** : lmao you guys are pitiful sometimes

 

**ur not chicken** : is that,,,

jeongin?

 

**uwu** : heck yeah

 

**ur not chicken** : omg

 

**changtrashbin** : omfg

 

**blackberry** : oHMIGOD

 

**handsomest god** : oh my god

why are we saying this again?

 

**DAAAAD** : CHANGBIN THAT’S ANOTHER 50 CENTS

 

**handsomest god** : oh damn

thanos whO

 

**[ _handsomest god_ has changed _DAAAAD'_ s username to _chanos_ ]**

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : binnie?

 

**changtrashbin** : ??

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : wHY did chan just sprint past me while cradling a mason jar like it's his baby or smthg??

 

**blackberry** : AHAHAHAHAHAHHA

RIP CHANGBIN LMAOOOOOOO

 

**changtrashbin** : oh no

I NEED TO RUN

 

**blackberry** : he dead

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : he dead?

oH

CHAN PLEASE DON’T KILL CHANGIBN THANKS

 

**blackberry** : changibn

 

**MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND** : :(((

 

**[ _blackberry_ has changed _MOSQUITO BOI IS HERE TO BLESS YOU AND_ 's username to _yeetlix_ ]**

**yeetlix** : hwaT

 

**blackberry** : your usernames too long it burns my eyes

 

**yeetlix** : wOW OK FINE ATTACK ME LIKE THAT

**[ _yeetlix_ has changed _blackberry's_ username to _jisus fuck_ ]**

 

**chanos** : NO

CURSING

50 CENTS MATE

 

**[ _chanos_ has changed _blackberry'_ s username to _jisus_ ]**

**jisus** : how do you instantly know whenever someone curses lmaoo

also I actually liked the name lix gave me :(((

 

**chanos** : too bad

changbin is deAD do you want to be next?

also I developed an app specific for this chat lol one of my friends taking comp sci helped me shes great

 

**yeetlix** : AWW THANKS JISUNG

BU TNOOO OOO OBINNIE

MI AMOR

WE NEED BOYFRIEND CONTROL @ur not chicken

 

**chanos** : NOOOO

HES NOT GONNA REPLY ANYWAYS HES AT GUITAR LESSONS MWAHAHAH

 

**ur not chicken** : hi chan don’t kill ur kids pls bc they're my kids 2 ily

 

**jisus** : sIKE

 

**yeetlix** : SIKE

 

**jisus** : brooooooo

 

**yeetlix** : wE WERE MEANT TO BEEEEEE BROOOOOO

 

**chanos** : wooj I thought you were teaching guitar

 

**ur not chicken** : class got cancelled :)

but rly, u're not going 2 say ily2?

 

**yeetlix** : OOF

 

**chanos** : IM SORRY YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU BBYYYYY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

 

**ur not chicken** : aaaaa ur so cute im so soft ily bby

 

**jisus** : I want to gag but I love my woochan content at the same time ASLKFJSKDF

 

**yeetlix** : ME TOOOO IM SCREECHING

AND I THINK THE PPL AT THIS CAFÉ ARE JUDGING ME BUT THAT SFINE ITS FINE

 

**jisus** : IKR DUDEEEE

 

**changtrashbin** : felix I love how you just kept texting on this chat even though chan was after me

 

**yeetlix** : oH

uh… oOPS?

 

**changtrashbin** : lol its ok channie made me pancakes so at least I can have them all to myself

 

**yeetlix** : IM COMING YOU THOT

I mEAN MY LOVE

CHANNIE CAN BE THE THOT

 

**jisus** : ugh I want pancakes but I have a project to do bc procrastination oh eys

 

**ur not chicken** : ok so if my bf is a thot wht does tht make minho?

 

**jisus** : nothing

cuz we don’t care about him in my christian household

 

**yeetlix** : ouc h

ah I smell pancakes bye hoes

 

**chanos** : if you want pancakes, I expect a dollar donation from lix and a 50 cent donation from wooj into the innie’s purity jar

 

**ur not chicken** : no bf privileges?

 

**yeetlix** : CHRISTOPHER NO

 

**chanos** : CHRISTOPHER YES

AND NO WOOJ

 

**ur not chicken** : not even if I cuddle u? n pepper your face w kisses?

 

**chanos** : NO

NO BRIBES STOPTOTPPTOTOTP

 

**yeetlix** : ugh i’m not here for your disgusTiNg oaNCakeS im here for CHANGBIN

 

**uwu** : I’m not pure

 

**changtrashbin** : and if chan wasn’t a freaking tomato right now bc of woojin and completely shut down his phone he would say

“WKSKKSKS INNIE YOURE SO CUTE THOUGH DON’T DENY IT” *insert naïve dimple smile*

 

**ur not chicken** : awwww chris is so cute

ok changbin ur incredibly accurate for tht chan impression n idk whether 2 b impressed or scared

 

**yeetlix** : that’s my mANs

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: i'll update on ti-  
> yall: update on time, my ASS
> 
> ok but seriously despite me being a shitty author thank you for the support <3 i personally love seeing comments n interacting w you guys bc it makes me so s o f t ahhhh! also, i was thinking of doing a drabble-like thing for the next update based on this chapter, but what do you guys think about it?


	10. n i n e + h a l f

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> felix, being an intellectual, has a thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry chan if you're on your stan account please don't kill me for clowning you i swear i love you

**—23:47**

 

**yeetlix** : im sorry in advance

its just lIKE

CHANOS BRO ITS SO FUNNY TO ME

[ [click to view attached image](https://i.imgur.com/iVUJw6C.jpg) ]

 

**handsomest** **god** : IM CRYING AHAHAHAH I LOVE YOU FOREVER AHAHAHAHHAHA

 

**uwu** : O M F L

!!!!!!

 

**jisus** : a true meme lord i STAN

sAVED

i might even post whoops sorry dad

 

**[ _hyunjinnie_ to _seungminnie_ ]**

 

**hyunjinnie** : LIX

AS;LKFJAKHAHAHAH

LOOK WHAT LIX MAD E

CHAN

CHANOS

[ [click to view attached image](https://i.imgur.com/iVUJw6C.jpg) ]

 

**seungminnie** : I'm going to CRY, that's so GOOD!!!

AHHHHHHAHAHAH

 

**[ minho? more like meanhoe ]**

 

**yeetlix** : iMS ORRY CHAN BR O I HATE MYSELF TOO TRUST ME

 

**jisus** : no DONT ITS LEGENDARY

 

**handsomest** **god** : SECONDED

 

**uwu** : thirded!!

 

**jisus** : oH ITS DEFINITELY FOURTHED LIX I LOVE YO U FO R E V ER YOU SAINT

 

**cutest** **satan** : Fifthed.

 

**changtrashbin** : lmaoooo sixthed

 

**—03:28**

 

**meanhoe** : im CACKLING

sEVNTHED TO INFINITY

 

**jisus** : infinity war ;0

 

**meanhoe** : as;dlfsjkjf

 

**—04:47**

 

**ur** **not** **chicken** : chris ily but pls dont snap me thx

8thed

 

**meanhoe** : that sounded vvvv.... *whispers* kinky

 

**ur** **not** **chicken** : o shush u go 2 sleep

 

**[ _ur not chicken_ has kicked _meanhoe_ out of  minho? more like meanhoe ]**

 

**jisus** : press f for respects :,(

jk he needs no respect pshh his ego is already bloated

 

**ur** **not** **chicken** : ^^

 

**—06:04**

 

**chanos** : 50 CENTS FROM WHOEVER SAID "OM*L"

A ND W HAT

FELIX BROOOO

i feel so done dirty

i-

 

**yeetlix** : aw love you too mate

<3

 

**chanos** :

 

**yeetlix** : <3

 

**chanos** : YOURE LUCKY YOURE MY CHILD SKSKSKSKJF;ASDLKFJ

DONT POST PLEASE SP ARE ME

 

**jisus** : oops?

IT WAS ON MY PRIVATE THOUGH DONT WORRY

I THINK IT WAS ON MY PRIVATE

 

**chanos** : ASDLFKJSFKSDJF EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR PRIVATE JI ASD;LFJDSLKFJ

 

**jisus** : oopS

 


End file.
